Never been loved, never been in love.

I have never been someone's "someone".

Lately, I cannot help but feel like I missed out on all the emotions most people experience regularly. The universal emotion; love.

I have yet to discover the version of myself when I am in love. What type of person do I become? Am I the jealous type? Do I let them lead? How much sacrifice am I willing to make for this person? What parts of myself will I work on and change for them? Do I become more soft-spoken? What qualities have I yet not discovered about myself that will be unlocked with love? I have spent so much time with myself, I always assumed I knew myself completely until I realized there is a chunk missing. I guess it is true; love completes.

Why have I not found love? Why have I not found love, yet? Will I ever?

Am I not worthy? Do I not deserve someone to prioritize me and look after me?

Love seems to come so easily to others, yet I have never felt a glimpse of it. Romantic of course. I have felt love. I love my friends and family. But I heard romantic love is incomparable. It is the strongest emotion of all.

I fear that I have missed out on the fun type of love. I am no longer a schoolgirl. I am no longer a university student. I am a graduate, who works, and who has moved to a new country. I am an adult trying to build my life and figure out what the future holds for me. I am an adult trying to support my family. I am an adult with worries. I am an adult with bigger things to care about than love. Or is love one of those big things? I do not know.

I have been going through so many changes these past few months. I will write about those. I will share my experiences with you. But do not expect anything about being in love, for I have never had that privilege.

Allow me to live through your love stories until I can write my own.

Who are you when you are in love?

Let me know

Email: candourchronicles@outlook.com

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