When You Don't Get Closure

I believe one of the worst possible feelings is not getting the closure you deserve and having no understanding of what you did "wrong". I've been through it so I know what I'm talking about. I also know that it passes, and over time, that person won't mean much to you anymore. You have to believe me, I've been through it.

At some point in time, I would've said that person was my oxygen. They left me to sink and suffocate. I was functionless, and nothing was enjoyable. Despite what they did to me, they were still the first person I wanted to tell everything to. They were still the arms I saw myself running into at the end of the day. I even went down a path of self-sabotage, convinced no one cares about me. The only one who did left.

So you get the gist. You get what I mean.

That person cut me off completely, with nothing. It just did not make sense. And our mutual friends would not talk to me about it. I really had nothing to work with.

In the beginning, it sucked. I would be doing my makeup, and randomly start crying. I would be listening to a song, and cry. I would cry just by hearing their name. I wondered what I did? Why was I cut off? Not only that, but am I that easy of a person to just let go of? Am I not worth a fight? An explanation? All I did was question myself. My worth.

And that's where I went wrong. If you know you did nothing wrong, don't doubt yourself. And even if you were in the wrong, apologize, mean it, and move on. Do better. Life is too short to dwell. If that person can cut you off without looking back, you should be able to do the same. At the end of the day, everyone is entitled to do whatever they want. You can't force someone to want to talk to you. Those facts are the hard pills we have to swallow.

Based on my experience, my advice is to surround yourself with good people. People who care about you. Friends and family. Your dog, cat, hamster, sister. Whatever and whomever. Talk about how you feel. Accept your feelings and the facts. Believe that someone better will come. Good things take time. Do not look back on chats, pictures, and anything that will remind you of them. At least not for long periods of time and/or too often. Eventually, let go of anything related to them. Speaking of, I still have a hoodie in need of a donation. So here's the deal. I will donate this hoodie if you throw/give away something that belonged to them too. Let's support each other.

I would love to hear your stories. Or just talk. Contact me at candourchronicles@outlook.com